mental

bakit nga ba ang hirap magsabi ng totoo? ang tagal na rin natin, siguro naman alam mo na why i keep sticking up with you. pero kelangan pang sabihin. alam ko yun.

but then, nasanay na rin siguro ako with all your schemes and bloody mind games. i think nasabi ko na sayo dati na kulang na lang naging tayo. but if i remember correctly (yes, i was drunk again that time. as usual, para i can deny everything the morning after), you told me then "why, do you think i'm dat easy to get?"

sheesh. pareho nga tayong maarte. i was actually hopeful when you said recently na you were tired fornicating. hehehe. sa wakas, i thought. finally you were over that phase and was ready to settle down.

asa pa. i forgot you were mrs. energizer bunny long before i met you. and you have other men. that i realize. pwero masaya naman ako at you showed so much concern when i dipped below the radar recently (heheheh. gotcha there). naiinis na nga si M kung bakit hindi pa raw tau nag-aaminan.

is it because the first one who admits loses? hay, these games we play. but let me tell you i'm so glad to have met you. for sticking up through all my drama and fuck-ups. baka nga dat's what keeps us from admitting. ayaw din nating maging domesticated. why lose all the kicks we get from torturing each other?

and yet to be so near and never really touching. to feel both the rough and tender edges of our souls and yet never really knowing each other for sure. you're one heck of a hellride. but yeah, i love you. and i'll love you still, even though sometimes i forget.