hauntings

(this was my answer to victor's query bout my last post. it grew too long so i turned it into a new post instead. thanks victor.)


Q:And have you figured out the mystery yet?

A: hehe. i'd rather let sleeping dogs lie. let's just say i've already made my peace with that chapter of my narrative. hehe.

but the question did give me a different interpretation of things...why he's not yet married at 34, why his friends keep on teasing him and his guy bff, why the straight porn cd he lent me was about guys cumming.

why one night, as he was again cleaning his car, he was wearing this faded and very worn out violet shorts. and no underwear.

he was asking me how my day was while his right hand kept on playing with the few strands of stray hair beneath his navel. nay ko po.

yep, the fling's question did momentarily give me a vision of what life would have been like if...but would i dare open up again that chapter which has cost me so much?

ang umasa pa muli? i don't think so.

sorry for this long, emo reply. you probably weren't expecting this. but the fling's question touched a raw nerve.

they say first loves never die. but they do. it's just that sometimes they haunt you from the grave (oops there i go again hehe).