Sunday, November 13, 2011

bliss

neptune's in his depths
to let go and dream awake
a drowning so sweet

Sunday, August 14, 2011

movie line

"do you know why billy left lola? because the woman he married was no longer the man he fell in love with."---lola und bilidikid.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

changi

have a happy life.

nabigla ako nang sabihin niya ang mga salitang ito ng nakayuko at may konting poot sa kanyang boses.

i’ve written in these pages that the men of my dreams usually show up in my narrative when a chapter is about to close. pero kaiba siya. dumating siya 15 minutes before take off.

i was having my feet massaged by this machine sa changi aiport nang una ko siyang masilayan. something about those mesmerizing eyes of his caught my attention while he was walking down the hallway.

puti siya. may hitsura. and for a few seconds, our eyes met and would not let go.

pero kailangan kong bumitaw dahil kasama ko ang mga straight na kaopisina na nagpapamasahe rin. five minutes later, bumalik si wafu. umalis na ang aking kaupisina at pamasok na sa departure area.

napatigil siya malapit duon sa massage machine na aking kinauupuan at nagtagpo ulit ang aming paningin. bata pa siya. mga early 20s siguro.

lumapit siya at umupo sa aking tabi sabay labas ng tsokolate at nagsabing: “want some?”

hindi talaga ako magaling sa introductions.

“oh. no, thanks,” sabi ko sabay ngiti. Uuuuggggghhhhh.

“how do you turn this on?”

ako naman pinakita sa kanya at pinindot ang mga dapat pindutin.

pranses pala siya at nag-aaral sa singapore. papunta siya ng beijing para magbakasyon. connecting flight through manila…konting kwento-kwento pa…

“isn’t it cold now in beijing?” tanong ko.

“yeah, but that’s ok…i hope they also have these machines in manila,” sabi niya.

“i don’t think so,” sabi ko sabay tingin sa mga kasama kong nag aayos na ng gamit sa loob ng departure area para pumask na sa eroplano.

“there’s still much time…,” sabi niya.

pero tumigil na ang makina sa aking mga paa at kaunti na rin ang nakapila sa xray at metal detectors papasok ng departure area. sa loob, naghihintay na rin ang iba kong kasama.

“i have to go,” sabi ko sabay ngiti, tayo at dampot sa aking carry-on bag.

at duon nabanggit niya ang mga salitang: “have a happy life.”

napalingon ako sa kanya dahil may poot akong naalinigan sa kanyang boses. at sabihan ka ba nman ng ganun. pero pagtingin ko ay nakayuko na siya. dumeresto ako sa pila papasok sa departure area.

later on, pumasok din siya at nakita kong may naghihintay din sa kanya sa loob. blondie na pechay.

hindi na muli nagtagpo an aming mga tingin.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

love ko 'to!




sa jakarta, ang mcdo laging nakaBUKA 24/7. napansin to ng kasama ko sa opisina. obviously, birds of the same feather, have their laugh trip together. =D

hagikhikan kami ng hagikhikan sa sasakyan lalo na nang mapansin pa ang salitang "jam" (na ang ibig sabihin yata sa bahasa ay oras). "hmmmm," sabi ni officemate, "may nakabuka na nga, nagjam pa! sounds familiar!"

obviously, we're green minded. =D

Monday, February 28, 2011

happy place




muntikan na akong tumambling at magpirouette sa saya nang makita ang tindahang ito sa nathan road. at japanese pa raw itetch so i therefore conclude bacolod: maingay!!nyahahahaha!!! =D

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

pre-departure

hotel - check

itinerary - check

the s.o. - sigh....wer u n?


one of the things i really like doing in airport lounges while waiting for my flight is to glimpse at gay couples who are on vacay.

even if they try to tone it down and pretend that they're just two dudes on holiday, my gaydar usually doesn't fail and a few more minutes of observation usually gives the "aha!" confirmation.

and then i'd wonder how it would look like when it's my turn with me esposo. pano kaya siya magrereact when i drag out my pink travel bag across the hall, with the boa feathers dangling? hehe.

but i guess that'll have to wait. for tomorrow's trip will find me again gazing in pre-departure, looking at lovebirds already in flight.

belated hapi vday. =)

Monday, February 7, 2011

`are you a fully realized woman?'

a scene from y tu mama tambien:

“luisa went to the doctor to get the results of some tests. at the waiting room, she did a magazine quiz titled `are you a fully realized woman?’

answering by multiple choice, she chose `B’ for question #1: prefers being awake rather than sleeping or dreaming. for #4, `C’: values time more highly than money or power.’ for #7, `A’: thinks more about the present than the past or the future.’

she scored 16 points.

the magazine defined her as a woman who is afraid to accept her freedom.

luisa did not agree.” source: subzin.com


that phrase “afraid to accept her freedom” piqued my interest when I first heard it in the film and it would sometimes pop up in my musings.

i mean, how could someone be like that? why would someone be afraid to accept his or her freedom?

but after plunging in this quasi-closeted journey, i began to realize that that phrase had a personal meaning for me. i just hope that someday, like luisa, i’ll have the conviction to disagree.